If I cannot understand I must try to ask him questions and clarify my doubts rather than wondering and guessing and not listening. This means I should take an active interest in what the other person says. Regarding the problem of selective listening, I must first desire to make interpersonal relationships through communication. When my emotional hot-buttons are activated, I tend to tune out, distort and prejudge these emotionally charged messages. Emotions create barriers to effective listening. Problems are never resolved satisfactorily at an emotional level. When emotional levels go up, objectivity comes down. Any anger, frustration, or hostility can hinder the ability to listen properly (Bonet, 2001). To listen effectively, listeners need to manage their feelings. I sometimes get emotional when people make derogatory remarks about my favorite team or party or friend. The second problem I have in the context of listening is about getting emotional. If I had listened to him fully, maybe I would have understood him better. I sometimes listen to a person’s views on an issue and see him as a very aggressive person. Selective listening can become very damaging when it involves judging a person (Meldrum, 1994). I allow myself to make assumptions about matters I am not listening to. Moreover, the problem with this type of listening is that one tends to focus only on personal interests and never gets to expand the scope of knowledge. I find it difficult to follow informative technical lectures. I cannot participate in a conversation that is not about sports, music, or things I am interested in. Selective listeningĭue to my problem of selective listening, I often feel left out in a crowd. Another problem I face is the problem of prejudging and stereotyping another person whenever my emotional hot buttons are triggered. I perk up only when something of particular interest to me is mentioned in a conversation or lecture. ![]() I tend to fall victim to selective listening. It is said generally, to be a good listener one must use one’s DISC drive, an acronym standing for desire, interest, self-discipline, and concentration (Bonet, 2001). ![]() Good listeners are active and can be seen actively involved in the process of listening (Meldrum, 1994). Listening is a process that consists of five elements: hearing, attending, understanding, responding and remembering.
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